“A consenting, confident, satisfying sex life, in the absence guilt and shame.”
Sexual Freedom is...
“The ability to choose to have a consenting, confident, satisfying sex life, in the absence of sexual dysfunction, guilt and shame.”
Sex and sexuality are part of being adult humans, whether we are having sex or not it’s part of who we are. Sex is an integral part of any relationship and it can also be one of the most problematic aspects. As we move through our lives our sexual attitudes, interests, tastes, desires, responses and needs change. So many things impact on how we respond and behave sexually, how we feel about ourselves as sexual beings can be a very positive influence in our lives, but it can also be a hinderance and hold many people back in areas of their lives that have nothing to do with sex.
Sex is still a taboo subject and one that is still full of misinformation, often attached to shame and guilt . Society gives out mixed messages about sex, what is normal, the kind of sex you should be having, how you should feel, how often you should have sex and how. The worlds media tells us how we should look, what sexy is, what we should wear and that if you don’t fit into that mould you are not good enough. TV and film romanticise sex, never a mishap or a wet patch and everyone orgasms at the same time. Pornography does the opposite- no connection, no foreplay and usually penetration focused.
In truth great sex isn’t about penetration and/ or orgasms, it’s about the ability to let go, to enjoy another person and to give ourselves permission to be enjoyed. Great sex comes from feeling good about ourselves, knowing what we want and being able to communicate that, it’s about being able to explore our sexuality and tastes, to say no when we need or want to and not feel guilt or shame about our sexual selves. To be confident sexually we must also accept that even sexually we are unique, that being good at sex is a learned thing and something we keep on learning as we age, as our relationships change or evolve and as our circumstances change. Sex can be one of the greatest and enjoyable experiences in our lives, but it is a messy process and can at times be a cause of anxiety and that anxiety can often take away our ability and desire to have sex at all.
"Where the mind goes the body follows,” Riley says.
“A hypnotist can help rewire the subconscious to stop those thought patterns from interfering with pleasure in the future by reframing them in the mind,” Riley says. Powerful stuff!
As attitudes towards sex have evolved and accepted norms have changed, much sex therapy has remained stuck in the past. Much of the sex therapy available today is still based on limited studies from the 1960’s, it focuses on the mechanical aspects of sex (penetration), uses outdated models of sexual arousal, defines a good sexual outcome as orgasm (most people can do this completely alone) and is based on talking with a therapist and homework tasks that can become mechanical in themselves. The outcome for many people undergoing this type of therapy is…
They have a better understanding of how they ended up with a sexual issue, but they still have it. Consciously they can reason out why they shouldn’t feel guilt, shame, pain etc, yet when it comes to the crunch and they find themselves in a consensual sexual situation, all that understanding doesn’t help them….. the anxiety returns.
Hypnosis works at a MUCH deeper level and it works at several levels…
1. Treatment with Hypnosis is an unconscious process that can address guilt and shame at the core.
2. Hypnosis can create new patterns of behaviour and new responses.
3. Hypnosis can create a strong mind body connection and give sexual control back to a person.
4. Hypnosis can help people lay down the foundations for positive and fulfilling sexual experiences.
5. Hypnosis can help people feel comfortable with themselves and to have permission to receive pleasure.
6. Hypnosis helps people to communicate with themselves, so they can communicate their needs, wants and desires with others.
Sex and sexual feelings are the magnifying glass that look at people’s relationships with themselves and others. Every part of our life impacts how we function sexually. Lifestyle choices, past experiences, our upbringing, our beliefs, self-confidence and self-esteem and many other things effect our libidos, how our bodies react and how much enjoyment and satisfaction we get from sexual activity. Kaz Rileys' Sexual Freedom Hypnosis Programme looks at the whole person, their unique circumstances and therapy is unique to them.
Kaz draws on 30,000 clinical hours experience and uses 100's of different techniques within her hypnotic practice, the content of the therapy depends on the clients needs.
The therapy process always starts with an in depth and frank conversation so that Kaz can understand the issue(s) you are facing and get the information she needs to formulate a treatment plan that is specific to you. It's important that she knows what you want to get out of therapy, what great sex means to you. This conversation is also a great way to help you get over any embarrassment you may have just talking about sex. We use the words that are familiar to you and Kaz provides a safe judgement free space so you can tell your story and start to move forward.
For almost everyone therapy has 6 aspects that are incorporated into sessions.
1. Teaching and education. Because of the amount of misinformation that is out there, part of the initial process is often about busting a few myths or sharing information that isn't usually taught, this could be anything from what the clitoris actually looks like, how porn can rewire the brain and a whole host of other things.... there are no taboo subjects.
2. Release guilt and shame. We release beliefs from the past, past experiences and anything else that causes shame and guilt about sex..... and Kaz will help you let it go.
3. Address Trauma. If there is trauma present we address it... Trauma can be anything from abuse to being caught masturbating as a child... you can move forward from trauma.
4. Normalise sexual function. Getting in touch with sexual feelings, keeping and erection, relaxing the vaginal muscles, being able to orgasm are just some of the things that may need to be covered, putting you back in charge of your body!
5. Communication and connection. An important part of everyday life but essential to great sex, this can be about being able to say Yes or NO and understanding what you need and expressing it confidently.
6. Enjoyment and permission for pleasure.
This will vary from person to person, but it is usually between 3 to 6 sessions, which is considerably less than traditional talking sex therapy. Sessions are usually 2 weeks apart.
Please visit my training website for dates for worldwide live sexual freedom hypnosis training. www.sexualfreedomhypnosis.org
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